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Do couples who schedule “date nights” into their busy lives lessen chances of divorce and heighten marital happiness?

June 05, 2019
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"Infatuation is when you find somebody who is absolutely perfect. Love is when you realize that they aren’t and it doesn’t matter." - Unknown. 

Do couples who schedule “date nights” into their busy lives lessen chances of divorce and heighten marital happiness? 

Date nights, the report says, “may be particularly valuable” in our times, when culture accents the soul-mate model of marriage. As a result, couples “increasingly expect high levels of intimacy, communication and personal fulfillment” from their relationship. 

FIVE BENEFITS OF DATE NIGHTS
Five ways date nights may strengthen couples are outlined by the report.
 
1. A date night is an opportunity to communicate, and this communication may help couples “deepen their understanding of one another and the relationship.” Communication is important because “individuals continue to change,” and over time, “as they and their relationship develop, they experience new challenges and problems,” Wilcox and Dew point out.

2. Date nights are valuable for their novelty. Researchers are discovering that “couples who engage in novel activities that are fun, active or otherwise arousing – from hiking to dancing to travel to card games – enjoy higher levels of relationship quality,” the report notes. In this way, couples counteract a tendency to take each other for granted. 

Couples, it says, “may be particularly likely to benefit from a regular date night if they use it as an opportunity to do more than that old standby: dinner and a movie.” And couples are encouraged to choose activities that represent “a balance of each partner’s interests, rather than tending to do things (novel or not)” that reflect the same partner’s preferences each time.


3. The report says “date nights may strengthen or rekindle that romantic spark that can be helpful in sustaining the fires of love over the long haul.”

4. Date nights may strengthen a couple’s sense of commitment to one another. The report says, “Partners who put one another first, who steer clear of other romantic opportunities and who cultivate a strong sense of ‘we-ness’ or togetherness are markedly happier than are less-committed couples.”

5. Date nights are a way to relieve stress. They allow a couple “to enjoy time with one another apart from the pressing concerns of their ordinary life.” Date nights also may serve couples as an opportunity “to extend emotional support to one another in times of trial.”

Wilcox and Dew wonder if date nights are most beneficial when they focus on fun and engaging activities, and “steer clear of marital challenges or other stressful topics” such as family finances. The authors hope future research addresses this point.

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